Fear of Being Great

In the last newsletter I asked, what is holding you back from living the life you want? Everyday I hear people who are concerned about their weight. Tell me if this mental conversation sounds familiar:

“Are those people staring at me? They’re talking about me. Do they think I am fat? Just a little fat? Or do they think I am really fat? Will this affect my health? Will I get diabetes? Will I have a heart attack? Will I die before my kids graduate college? Are my kids embarrassed? Am I ruining my kids health by setting a bad example? Am I ruining my marriage because I don’t like myself? What will I wear on vacation? I can’t wear a bathing suit in public! Will I have to buy two seats on the airplanes? Can I go on the amusement park ride? Can I fit in a movie theater seat? Can I fit in my pants? I can’t believe I need a bigger size. How can I afford to keep doing this? I am going to eat a salad for lunch today. What are some other healthy things I can eat? Oh, I don’t know…low fat? low carb? Forget it, let me eat a donut. Why did I do that? Why can’t I stick to a plan? I am weak. I can’t do this.

The list of worries goes on and on and, quite literally, these people’s thoughts are addicted with their weight issue. All of their mental energy is spent worrying about their weight.

Then when these people are presented with a opportunity that could help them lose weight, such as my UltraLite program, they have just as many excuses as to why they can’t do it. “I can’t afford it”, “I am going on vacation in two months”, “My work is too busy”, “The kids will be too fussy”, “I don’t like to cook”, etc.

Are these reasons the real reasons they don’t want to tackle the issue? I suggest that it is not really about the money, the fussy kids or work. I suggest its something deeper. Fear of being great.

After all, if this problem disappeared what would you have to give up? Would you have to give up the story that you are weak? Would you have to give up the story that you are fat? That you can’t achieve anything? All that self defeating mental talk would have to disappear. What would you fill your life with now that this enormous mental space has been cleared?

You would have to get to know yourself in a totally new way. You would have to re-invent yourself, see yourself as powerful, successful and competent. You would have to love and accept yourself!

These are hard patterns to change—and I am not just talking about changing what foods you snack on. I am talking about the mental patterns. We think that we know ourselves in a certain unchangeable, concrete ways-the ‘boxes’ we have put ourselves into such as “I have a sweet tooth”. “I don’t like to exercise”, “Its my genes”. “I don’t have the discipline”. Most of us have spent so much mental time worrying about our problem (it could be your weight, the shape of your nose, that mole on your check, etc), that the world has passed us by. We have played life small; spent all our time worrying about ourselves. When we can take a step back and look at the bigger picture, we can see how much the world needs us-children are hungry, the planet is rapidly becoming inhospitable to human life, animals are abused, and people dying from preventable diseases. The world needs us to step up, take control of ourselves and each other.

I find that often times, the ‘problem’ that people are struggling with, is one that they actually feel comfortable and safe with. And deep down, you may not really want to let go of it. Then you would have to tackle the bigger issues! I think the underlying reason most people don’t even try, is a fear of being great and surprising ourselves. Stepping outside of our current picture of ourselves and being someone who can make a difference.

So again, I ask the question, what is stopping you from living the life you want?